Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Take a Deep Breath

Wow! It’s Wednesday already.  I feel like this week has been super busy.

2011October 017

And it’s not going to slow down today. I just got home from taking all three dogs to the groomer and then later I have a doctor’s appointment with one of the guys we assist.  Yesterday I had a marathon doctor’s appointment with the girl we assist….what’s the point in making an appointment if the doctor is going to see us whenever she feels like it.  We waited an hour and a half before we were seen!  Then when the girl I take care of was having behavior issues in her office, the doctor was like, “You don’t feel well today do you?”  I was like, “She feels just fine, but we have been waiting an hour and a half, so the little patience she has ran out about an hour ago!”

I wish I could go more into detail about the people we take care of and what we do on a daily basis but due to privacy issues, I better not.  Let’s just say some weeks days are harder than others. This is just one of those weeks that has me frazzled!

My food choices this week have been in the toilet and my mood is showing it!  I’m tired and a little irritated.  Also, I haven’t worked out since FRIDAY! gah!  Lately, it seems I’m 100% one week and 0% the next.  I wonder why?  Is it the changing seasons? Or sugar?  Or stress?

Luckily, I don’t have the problem of left over candy like a lot of folks.  All candy was out of the house on Halloween night. Thank goodness!

I had to pick up another bottle of insulin for Katy yesterday at CVS and I went through the drive through, and then waited in my car in the parking lot to keep from going inside and seeing all the candy that I’m sure was 75% off!

I took Katy in Monday to get her blood sugar checked and it was over 500 again. ugh. 

2011March 014

The doctor asked if the insulin had gotten left out all night or shaken too hard (you’re not supposed to shake insulin, you are supposed to roll it between your hands).  No and No.  But then Monday night she was still not feeling well and I got to thinking, maybe I rolled the bottle between my hands to hard one morning (it is 5am for Pete’s sake) because she was doing so well and then Sunday and Monday she started doing crappy again. So, I just bought another bottle of insulin to see if that would make a difference and I think it did! Evidently, insulin is very sensitive!  She didn’t have any accidents yesterday or last night and she seemed to have more energy this morning.

I love all my animals and the people we take care of, but sometimes I feel the weight of all the living beings relying on me. 

Also, I have a small confession.  I think I am starting to get a little anxiety about next Spring’s competition! I am not where I want to be and I am feeling panicky about it.  I also have caught myself thinking that it’s okay to eat something because in a few months I won’t be able to eat it at all!  I don’t like that.

Today I am setting the intention to be mindful about what I am eating and make good choices.  Get done what I have to get done and then take a nap.  Be gentle with myself and let the stress go.  I am only in control of myself.  Sometimes I have to let things happen around me and just be apart of it, not control it.

2 comments:

  1. Wow! Just from reading your post I can almost feel the stress, frazzled, overwhelmed feelings you're feeling. I'm so sorry you're having such a rough week. Don't be so hard on yourself about Katy...you're doing the very best you can! Being a caretaker is an extremely difficult, stressful thing! Just caring for my husband, daughter, and 2 dogs leaves me frazzled sometimes, so what you're feeling is perfectly normal!
    Enjoy your nap today. It's amazing what a little rest can do for your state of mind. If you mess up a meal today, just get back on track at the next one. If you don't have much time, just train one body part. A little workout will help your mood and help you feel more optimistic about reaching your goals.
    Okay, I'll stop telling you what to do now! LOL!!
    Hugs!

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  2. Goodness.... you gave me anxiety! It sounds like it is just one of those weeks for you and I honestly think that when we put others first all the time (which I think comes naturally to some people, myself included) we start to lose ourselves a little bit and that's when the anxiety, lack of motivation, and frustration comes in. Take some time for you, even if its just a quick jog!

    Comp talk. Totally know what you mean. I don't have another show until March, and I find myself in that same mind frame. I can't eat this soon so I better enjoy it. UGH! I am working out hard every day but man oh man the treats and food and family functions are KILLING me.

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